Stupid Annoying Shit My Roommate Does

Just got back from visiting home this weekend

“

—	the first thing he says to us while still standing in the doorway.

him: (interjecting while me and other roommate were talking about the $500 million power ball lottery) are you talking about the megaball lottery?
other roommate: yea
him: tell me if you win
me and other roommate: ...
other roommate: nah dude, I'm not gonna tell anyone, man.

he cooked it, but overheard me telling our other roommate who really owns it.

*grabs my TGIFridays frozen meal from the freezer*

*to our other roommate* “Hey, it serves two. Do you want some”

I’m just gonna see if he really does it.

out of the blue, he just started trying to do push ups in the living room

no one even mentioned anything remotely close to it.

he’s drunk (off of two beers)

expect updates.

me: alright, see you around 5.
him: laterz
 *we walk in the same direction*
 *he leans forward and shuffles his feet faster than a walk, hobbling from side to side*
me: (oh god, is he... he's running?!)
 *starts walking about 20m in front of me*

Closes the trunk as I walk to the car every fucking morning. And then realizes I have to put my bag in there too.

Every. Fucking. Morning.

“What’s a null terminated string?”

he is a graduate student in electrical engineering, currently working at a job at a semiconductor company programming on a design team. Graduated with honors from undergrad and has a 3.7 as a master’s student.

him: did you make noodles?
me: yes.
him: okay. just checking.
 [end of conversation]